u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
