Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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