His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
