also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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