You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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