My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
