I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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