If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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