Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
