I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
