Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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