why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
