Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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