Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
