Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
