We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
