We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
