no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
