is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
