what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
