I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
