I wish I could punch you in the face.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
