I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Your cock deserves a montage
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
