what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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