My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
