It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
