You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
