I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize