thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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