I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
