Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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