Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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