I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
