I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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