glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
