Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How external is "for external use only"?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
