drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
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I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
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