when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
