3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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