Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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