there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
