Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
