apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
