Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.