Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.

(708): View more from Illinois

We need to hang out more often

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(419): Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol. (708): We need to hang out more often http://tfl.nu/04n9

Replies (13) Good night (2707) Bad night (540)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.

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(402): Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice. http://tfl.nu/dl8a

Replies (9) Good night (794) Bad night (3616)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.

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(336): Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid. http://tfl.nu/ga4m

Replies (30) Good night (6047) Bad night (905)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.

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(412): You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats. http://tfl.nu/gybz

Replies (35) Good night (1284) Bad night (4049)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.

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(702): Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily. http://tfl.nu/1vv1

Replies (3) Good night (3454) Bad night (833)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.

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(402): Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home. http://tfl.nu/zy9j

Replies (4) Good night (1120) Bad night (680)
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(951): View more from California

isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?

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(951): isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together? http://tfl.nu/lg5k

Replies (6) Good night (648) Bad night (1391)
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(361): View more from Texas

Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.

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(361): Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war. http://tfl.nu/2o17

Replies (8) Good night (1607) Bad night (608)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.

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(780): Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis. http://tfl.nu/lqrq

Replies (8) Good night (2263) Bad night (578)
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(801): View more from Utah

Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.

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(801): Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted. http://tfl.nu/qkeh

Replies (1) Good night (1018) Bad night (344)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.

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(304): The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass. http://tfl.nu/8h53

Replies (2) Good night (920) Bad night (607)
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(541): View more from Oregon

He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans

(503): View more from Oregon

Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.

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(541): He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans (503): Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants. http://tfl.nu/h1iw

Replies (7) Good night (1323) Bad night (336)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.

(256): View more from Alabama

They have marijuana tests too!

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(256): Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know. (256): They have marijuana tests too! http://tfl.nu/avoj

Replies (9) Good night (1104) Bad night (307)
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(269): View more from Michigan

That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.

(269): View more from Michigan

AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.

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(269): That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE. (269): AND SOME IN THE TRUNK. http://tfl.nu/jicm

Replies (4) Good night (941) Bad night (234)
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(212): View more from New York

I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.

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(212): I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream. http://tfl.nu/ohie

Replies (6) Good night (264) Bad night (944)

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