I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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