I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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