i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
