I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
