bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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