So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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