I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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