i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
