This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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