bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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