we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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