put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
All I want is dick and wine.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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