why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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