whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
