It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Quick, to the slutcave!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
