Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
