you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
