I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
