I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
