We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
