just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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