He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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