Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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