In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
