fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
